“Most of us underestimate the power of our words. We sometimes miss how
our words set a tone. A few words can make someone’s day, or shatter it. Words
can inspire someone to buy, or to go away without buying. Our words can move
someone to do their best work, or to work against us. Your spoken words serve
either to build up or to tear down. They serve to empower and inspire, or to
disempower and hurt. Words are either life affirming or destructive. For this
reason we should choose our words carefully.
“The word is the most powerful tool you have as a
human...like a sword it has two edges, your word can create the most beautiful
dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.” (The Four
Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz)
When you are talking to someone ask yourself this question: “Who am I
being and what is the impact of my words on the people around me?” The power of
your words lies in the intention behind them. Is it your intention to create a
resolution or to be right? Do you intend to help the organization accomplish
its mission or to satisfy the need to take someone down? We communicate best
when we are clear about who we are and what we intend. This kind of clarity
prevents us from saying words that are harmful to ourselves and others. It may
prevent us from engaging in harmful gossip and complaining.
Gossip is usually destructive. It is often a careless use of our words.
We just aren’t thinking about how we are affecting others. Sometimes gossip is
mean spirited and intended to cause hurt. Whether gossip is careless or
intentional, it causes pain. We may be hoping for a little humor or self
justification, but the results of gossip are anger, suspicion, embarrassment,
and fear. These creations of gossip negatively affect morale, service, and
productivity. You cannot both care about someone and gossip about them. If you
think back to the last time you either heard or offered gossip, it probably
didn’t make you feel good. Gossip disempowers us.
Similar to gossip is chronic complaining. Complaining about people and
situations makes us feel and look powerless. Managers who complain in front of
their employees lose credibility as leaders. Chronic complaining leads us into
a dead end street where there is nothing to be done. We become victims who are
powerless to change anything. While venting frustrations to a trusted friend
can be helpful in releasing negative feelings, complaining to everyone tends to
reinforce negative feelings. Like gossip, chronic complaining disempowers us.
Our power to do harm is exceeded only by our power to do good. A simple,
sincere apology (given without expectation of return) can heal a relationship.
An uplifting word at the right moment can change a life, launch a career, or
convince someone to go beyond perceived limitations. By consciously looking for
evidence of greatness in others, and by using our words to tell them, we help
others to build confidence. When we sincerely speak well of others we uplift
ourselves.
There is great power in making the commitment to keeping our words as
positive and life affirming as we are can. As an affirming presence our
influence grows. We feel better about ourselves. Constant negative speech imprisons
us and prevents us from finding joy and success. Developing the habit of
speaking well of self and others frees us to enjoy life more. We become a
blessing to ourselves and to others.” (William Frank Diedrich)
Reference
William Frank Diedrich http://www.noblaming.com
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